Future: Undecided

Thanks to everyone who voted in the "Where should Kathleen go?" poll. The results are in and it looks like the winner is Australia and New Zealand with 60% of the vote. That's the same thing I chose! So after hardly any thought, I handed in the SWAP (Student Work Abroad Program) application for the South Pacific combo, paid the hefty non-refundable fee, and less than two days later, completely changed my mind. I should have known better when, on my way to apply for the program, the little voice in my head said Don't do it! But the little voice offered no alternative life plan, so I did it anyway. It's not that I don't want to go; I definitely do and still plan to (especially if I can't get my money back). I just think it's the wrong time. The decision came as a result of one bad day, deciding I needed a change, and going a little overboard. I included "stay at Wal-mart" in my poll as a joke answer, but ha ha, the joke's on me because that's what I'm doing. I've already survived three Wal-mart Christmases. One more won't kill me. And now that the stress of moving is gone, I'm actually excited about Christmas. I'm relieved. Maybe I'm too old for adventure. Maybe Wal-mart is secretly drugging me. Either way, it felt too rushed. I need more time to plan and get excited about it. I'm going to leave major decision making for after Christmas.